Bring a pot of water to a boil and cook the pasta according to package directions.
While you wait, prepare the vegetables. Sauté the mushrooms and onion in 1 tablespoon of olive oil over medium-high heat. You want some caramelization so cook for 2-3 minutes on their own before adding the turkey and celery. Once you add the latter, also add 1 tablespoon of soy sauce and 1 tablespoon of chili sauce. Cook until the turkey is no longer raw and the celery is crisp-tender, about 3-4 minutes. Add the cabbage, kale, 1-2 tablespoons oyster sauce, the lemon juice and a splash of water then cover the pan, turn down the heat and give the latest additions time to cook, about 3-4 minutes.
Meanwhile, drain the pasta. When the vegetables are done, taste for seasoning and if you feel it needs more flavor, add a bit more soy sauce and/or oyster sauce. Toss in the cooked pasta and drizzle the sesame oil on top. Stir until everything is combined, plate and serve.